Morning, it is 7:32. Im holding off on the coffee so I can enjoy a hot one, the first one, at work.
My boss is away at the Island this week so I am hoping today will be quiet. I have work to do but I will be able to tie up any loose ends. Plus she's like a ghost in that place. Its like she throws a smoke bomb and appears and disappears out of nowhere.

I like her though. I like her direct instructions and no fluff...and she cares about people and those she takes care of. Also she is reasonable.

I am tired already and I just woke up. I have to pay the power bill today. Im lucky they didnt cut me off seeing as it was Thanksgiving I guess. Also I have to pay the water bill today....Blahh...


SO lets see....thats 500.00 for power and 1500 for water. YAY I have 1000.00.

Hmmm. they are both impossible to deal with AND they are both the only places that offer such
luxuries. Power and Water and the rates go up twice yearly. PLus we pay a FEE for having an account then we oay the usage charge then we get taxed 14% on TOP of all that. FUCK...

Same thing with the water. I pay yearly, which clearly, isnt a good idea. I would care if it didnt affect my tenants whom I do no charge enough rent for. That was Shanes doing. They are friends so he charged them less. 200 less in fact. I would love to be able to do that but we are not rich and they both make 20,000.00 more togehter a year than we do. God he makes the dumbest decisions at the worst times. FUCK.

John Candy

I am listening to Mess Around. It makes me think of John Candy in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles with Steve Martin, ( another fav comedian).

Him driving that car and loving this song....catching himself up with the seatbelt with a smoke in his mouth. Ahh I miss him.....

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001006/

Spanish Classical Guitar- Andres Segovia

Saturday morning.....getting ready to get ready for work.


I really do not have much to say that I have not already said to myself at 6 this morning.
Some negative observations and none of them regarding my own behaviour and way of life. How modest of me.

The nerve I have. I should rid the world of myself in order to give another person a chance at perfection.

Pavlo is playing soon in my fishbowl and I am looking forward to hearing them. I wish that Andres Segovia was still alive.

This is my cousin Shelley. We took the ferry over to her grandmothers cottage today and she
was feeling kinda bad about. Seems I always taker her places that make her cry. We used to go there when we were kids and things got shitty in the following years. Her Nana was the only stablility she ever had. Now shes gone and she was missing her a bit. Nothing you can do about that I guess. Bitter sweet is life. Good enough to be blessed to have some good times at all.

Well, it would have been nice to at least ask me if I wanted to do something on my weekend off but Robo beat me to it. So did the beer. God after 7 years it would be nice to win a day of preference. Without a crying resentful compromise. Just sheer preference.

Whats that tell me eh? Well, mabey I will head to the hot beach two hours from here to the North. Camp by myself. C'est la vie.

Today is rough. Too many things to think about and regret and worry. Too many sorrys.

Too many wishes not enough God.

My Town

Thursday

3 pm

Classical Soul-Acoustic Masters

Overcast

This is a pic down the road from my house.

I love Chopin. Prelude (3). ( I should mention my favorite version is performed by Andres Segovia)

Its like what life would sound like. It seems as though its a thought and a walk throughout my life and memories or what I expect to become of me.

Its funny when you finally get to an age where you start to realize that you treally dont care what people think. All the years that you thought that you didnt but looking back you certainly did. Its refreshing. I wish that I hadnt waited so long.

Who you keep for company for any length of time matters. That is if you doubt yourself. People can stifle your creativity. You allow them to of course.

Looking at things that are just things. things that break or you throw away. All with seeming smugness that they are just that and feel no pain. Sometimes I'd just like to be a pot.

Whoa...funny how you think that you know because you are looking for it when in fact you see nothing at all. Sorry if you dont do this but this is who I am and I like it. Dont you worry about me I will be there mabey not before you but there none the less.

Im dealing with the fact that I will have days when I go to the 3rd field.

Then I'll be back again.

The Triumphant of the defeated and the victim.

OK OK....so I'll tell you right off the bat I know nothing of this piece but I would like to

think outloud for a minute.

Ok, number one the victim looks totally suprised and somewhat in disbelief. The guy who has directly attributed to his demise looks like he's feelin kinda bad about but it had to be done.

Kinda like taking your dog out to the woods to shoot him.

He's thinking everythings cool and its stick time and all of a sudden his best friend gives him a lead hole.

and his masters thinking...sorry buddy but thats the last time you shit on the floor.

In the flesh. Still though, even after all those years go by you will be the same.

and thankfully amuzed by my deteriorating brain.

I dont want to get old. I guess it means that you lived. Well, whatever that is to whomever.

What is it for me now? I still have the questions I guess. Old ones. Funny how someone can spend years asking themselves the same seemingly easy questions regarding ones own life.

The one who decides what to accept or reject. The choice of right and wrong. The foundations that allow happiness. So I guess that they would not be questions but rather admissions.

Reflect to Accept is my new moto.

It's Sunday...

Very nice day.

Me, Myself and I

I learned something today.

I should give things a little more time before I act on anything.

On the other side of today. Im soo lonely.

So, Im here again on this circle of sand

speaking to the seasons

asking her questions without any reason.

This was from my diary that I kept. I was at the park bench I sat at every day for two years. It was stuck under a tree on a circle of sand and I realized that I had gone through all the seasons asking myself the same questions. The time that had gone by suprised me. I spent a lot of time there bringing myself together. Reasoning with myself. Things I already knew and didnt accept I guess.

What a great day at work.

The two ladies that I take care of are so sweet but they are also having a hard time adjusting to their new lives. Agnes I will call her has had a stroke and she is really bothered by the fact they she can never have a moment alone. She cant make it to the bathroom alone or make herself a cup of tea. She can physically do it but her husband is worried about her and wont let her.

Margie the other lady has lost her husband as I previously mentioned and is lonely and reminisent. Which I am happy to explore with her. I took her to her old house today were they last lived together. Im not sure if it cheered her up but we did it after we got groceries and had fun doing it. She was smiling at the grocery store and laughing when she thought the people that worked there must think she is crazy for having such a good time at the supermarket.

We also went to see the new pavilion at the Lake. So nice. Then we went down to the ducks. There were a million of them and everyone was feeding them as it was -25 today and people probley thought they could use a good meal.

I love my job. I love being a friend.