"You'll never know if I have an axe until it's too late." he said. I'm now thinking to myself as I was at that moment, that deep down and joking aside, I think he may not be telling a lie.

There is just something about him that I feel is beneath the usual face he shows us. Everyone does of course but I have known him for 7 years and when I look back on the times that these words and others come out I realize that deep down like the animals we are.. I ummm fear him.

Perhaps its my concience that slaps me with fear. I feel guilty for the negative use of my tongue latley. I feel like I have to focus on my old lost values. The kindergarten rules you might say. If you dont have anything nice to say.....

So here I am. Monday....the 5th of February. My grandfathers birthday. God love him and I'm always thinking about time. How much, how little, what I've spent, how much I've got left in my pocket.